Seemingly Offline.
"One persons data, is another persons noise" - KC Cole
It's not you, it's me... well, sort of.
I don't blog regularly, clearly evidenced by a cursory view of the blogs here and to be honest, I think I prefer it that way.
There's a reason for this. There always is.
In writing something like this, I'm distracted. My job is to write. I'm technically never off that job. If I'm not punching keys, I'm piecing things together in my mind's eye, teasing out images, feelings... Things. Useful things, lucrative things, exciting things but still, in my head, things, waiting to be used.
Talking about it is a distraction. Discussing it is a distraction. Disseminating my advice about it is also a distraction, but I think for this post, my last major one for a while, I will give in to the temptation.
I have been writing nearly solidly for three years and in that time I have amassed a large pile of content, currently being eyed and valued by a professional I trust. All the same, I work because that's what I do. I don't know any other way, and often it makes me ponder my position and future.
Truth is, my working life has not been joyful, enriching or encouraging all being considered. Its been a relentless slog in finding enough to tread water. It has never changed. There have been times I have had enormous success and other times have been devastatingly negative. I have found in these things, the middle ground is short and riven with compromise.
Deciding in my late twenties to make the jump into becoming a Writer with no money, equity, or connections was being kind, brave. Being realistic, dangerous. Being unkind, stupid.
I don't do this without support, love, or trust. I need it all and without it, it ceases to exist. I do not overstate the importance of this point.
So how does any of this relate to a damn blog?
It's all related. All of it. It will be the same for you.
I'm distracted.
Too much noise. Too many people talking, shouting, singing. Too much to entice my attention. Too many names to remember, faces to see and focus on. Too much TV, too many games, too many films, too many books. You drown every day, in words, voices, music and flashes of polarised light.
I feel smothered and when I take a breath, what do I actually care for? What do I actually want to say?
Do I want to talk about my life, my process, my work, my dreams, my wants and my realities?
Do I want to add to the noise?
Yes and in the nicest possible way, no.
I have many things to say and based on the life I have led, rather unique things at that.
That said... not on a blog.
There's too much to articulate, postulate and discuss. The only time I feel I have the right to write if you will, is in making my scripts, my treatments and my projects.
Not here. Here I feel... exposed, too open.
Too much to see and not enough to say and for that reason, I'm pulling away from my own blog. I will use it to show major milestones but beyond that, I'm not adding to the noise. I won't waste your time (if you are reading this maybe I already have). When I have something to say, it's in the work. It's in something I have taken the time to mould, craft and share with my creativity and passion weaved through it. With my hopes and dreams shinning off its surface.
Not here.
I'm seemingly offline for now, but I'm still around...
Just working.
C J Parker